When it happens and after that
I've stepped into my 6th week of post-surgery, I'm feeling much better now. I look perfectly fine from the outside (as usual) with some help from cosmetics. Let's talk about the week when my operation was conducted. This experience is something I want to remember. It is the biggest surgery our family had to go through together. It wasn't an easy experience, so many decisions had to be made in a short period of time.
My problem happens on the mitral valve, it wasn't closing as it should have because of the previous vegetation had loosen it and had left a hole unto the valve. This had caused the oxidized blood to leak back to the heart. If left untreated, I would have a heart failure.
So, my surgery was arranged on the 13th of November, 7 am. I was the first case for the surgeon, Dr Pau. I couldn't sleep well the night before, my thought was I will be sleeping the whole day the next day, what is sleep now.
Most of the nights leading to the surgery, I was thinking how my life would change after the surgery, I stepped into this surgery with the thought of 'Part of me will be removed and replaced with a mechanical valve, and I will have to take warfarin (blood thinner) for the rest of my life. I will not be able to give birth and I will not be able to see how our child looks like.' I had a very heavy heart despite my family assured me they are giving me 101% of support. Such will be my life, I said to myself on repeat when no one is looking.
Morning came so quickly, I had to shower at 6 am and be ready by 630 am (I woke up with a song in my mind, ~today is the day the Lord has made~ and it was on repeating mode.). Nurses came in, put me on the bed and pushed me to the operation theater with my family along my sides.
I was so glad that I'm marrying my Ney, his mum gave me a call to say a prayer for me before the surgery. At this point of time, my mind was blank, I didn't know what should I be thinking so I continue the song that God has put in my mind.
I was pushed to the waiting room very briefly and I had to say my goodbyes. I smiled nervously and then, the time had arrived, I was pushed into the operating theater. This is official.
Operation theater has green walls (just like the movies), full of equipment and people. Operating theater is really cold and surprise surprise, they have a heater right on top of the operating bed!
Before the surgery, I will be put to sleep and this will be carried out by an anesthesiologist. The anesthesiologist was funny and he was making jokes while putting line into the back of my hand. He was trying to calm me down. I didn't have to suffer too much of the needles pain because I was put into sleep very quickly. I was asked to say my prayer once he injected the anesthesia, but before I could finish my prayer, I was already knocked out.
Hours passed, by the time I woke up I was already laying in ICU and I had so many tubes/lines in my body from the neck to the bottom (which gave me bruises later on). Thanks to morphine, I don't feel anything besides the oxygen tube in my mouth.
Staying in ICU means you're not capable to take care of yourself, you couldn't walk, you couldn't stand, you couldn't go to the toilet nor shower. Everything will be done for you by the nurses. The nurses in ICU were very professional and understanding. They had to clean me everyday, make sure I'm comfortable at all times and attend to all my little weak knocks on the bed handle (this is how I get their attention). *ICU is like 5-star suite in the hospital context.
After I was awake, for hours I wasn't allowed to take any drinks or adjust the line in my mouth. So, the first thing I asked for was a cup of milo because I am a crazy milo lady.
My surgeon came to see me on Monday (a day after the surgery) to check on my condition and
**The bad news broke** (*insect dramatic music) there's still abnormal murmur. (The "murmur" is the sound of blood flowing; Abnormal heart murmurs in adults are related to defective heart valves.)
Then another echo-cardiogram (An echocardiogram (also called an echo) is a type of ultrasound test that uses high-pitched sound waves that are sent through a device called a transducer. The device picks up echoes of the sound waves as they bounce off the different parts of your heart.) was taken and it wasn't looking good too. I was informed that they'd to open up and checked why was it leaking (because the echo they did in the operation theater was showing good). Parents and Ney rushed back to hospital to get more information from the doctor and dad'd to deal with the finances side. (Yes, we've to pay another deposit for the operation even though it is very likely the surgeons' mistake).
Right before the second op
Second op
I have so many things to be grateful for, my family (future family), my friends, my colleagues, the nurses and the doctors. In the midst of the chaos, I see God's hands are everywhere, although I didn't see or hear Him like I wished. He appears in the people around me, He gave me a song that simply reminds me of Him is in control.
#Not everyone has a second chance, but I have and I want to live.#
My problem happens on the mitral valve, it wasn't closing as it should have because of the previous vegetation had loosen it and had left a hole unto the valve. This had caused the oxidized blood to leak back to the heart. If left untreated, I would have a heart failure.
So, my surgery was arranged on the 13th of November, 7 am. I was the first case for the surgeon, Dr Pau. I couldn't sleep well the night before, my thought was I will be sleeping the whole day the next day, what is sleep now.
Most of the nights leading to the surgery, I was thinking how my life would change after the surgery, I stepped into this surgery with the thought of 'Part of me will be removed and replaced with a mechanical valve, and I will have to take warfarin (blood thinner) for the rest of my life. I will not be able to give birth and I will not be able to see how our child looks like.' I had a very heavy heart despite my family assured me they are giving me 101% of support. Such will be my life, I said to myself on repeat when no one is looking.
Morning came so quickly, I had to shower at 6 am and be ready by 630 am (I woke up with a song in my mind, ~today is the day the Lord has made~ and it was on repeating mode.). Nurses came in, put me on the bed and pushed me to the operation theater with my family along my sides.
I was so glad that I'm marrying my Ney, his mum gave me a call to say a prayer for me before the surgery. At this point of time, my mind was blank, I didn't know what should I be thinking so I continue the song that God has put in my mind.
I was pushed to the waiting room very briefly and I had to say my goodbyes. I smiled nervously and then, the time had arrived, I was pushed into the operating theater. This is official.
Operation theater has green walls (just like the movies), full of equipment and people. Operating theater is really cold and surprise surprise, they have a heater right on top of the operating bed!
Before the surgery, I will be put to sleep and this will be carried out by an anesthesiologist. The anesthesiologist was funny and he was making jokes while putting line into the back of my hand. He was trying to calm me down. I didn't have to suffer too much of the needles pain because I was put into sleep very quickly. I was asked to say my prayer once he injected the anesthesia, but before I could finish my prayer, I was already knocked out.
Hours passed, by the time I woke up I was already laying in ICU and I had so many tubes/lines in my body from the neck to the bottom (which gave me bruises later on). Thanks to morphine, I don't feel anything besides the oxygen tube in my mouth.
Staying in ICU means you're not capable to take care of yourself, you couldn't walk, you couldn't stand, you couldn't go to the toilet nor shower. Everything will be done for you by the nurses. The nurses in ICU were very professional and understanding. They had to clean me everyday, make sure I'm comfortable at all times and attend to all my little weak knocks on the bed handle (this is how I get their attention). *ICU is like 5-star suite in the hospital context.
After I was awake, for hours I wasn't allowed to take any drinks or adjust the line in my mouth. So, the first thing I asked for was a cup of milo because I am a crazy milo lady.
My surgeon came to see me on Monday (a day after the surgery) to check on my condition and
**The bad news broke** (*insect dramatic music) there's still abnormal murmur. (The "murmur" is the sound of blood flowing; Abnormal heart murmurs in adults are related to defective heart valves.)
Then another echo-cardiogram (An echocardiogram (also called an echo) is a type of ultrasound test that uses high-pitched sound waves that are sent through a device called a transducer. The device picks up echoes of the sound waves as they bounce off the different parts of your heart.) was taken and it wasn't looking good too. I was informed that they'd to open up and checked why was it leaking (because the echo they did in the operation theater was showing good). Parents and Ney rushed back to hospital to get more information from the doctor and dad'd to deal with the finances side. (Yes, we've to pay another deposit for the operation even though it is very likely the surgeons' mistake).
Right before the second op
For me, I would just have to prepare myself mentally to re-enter the second operation. At this point, I wasn't mobile and in pain. I remember my family was there with me before the scheduled time, everyone was looking exhausted and worried. I wouldn't forget the smiles they had, it was so forceful and full of worries. I was scared just by thinking I will be opened up again, the worst part - phlegm suction and the need to go through hours without water afterwards (horrible). In the midst of all these, the nurses were very kind to me, the words of encouragement were very comforting to both me and my family.
Second op
When the time came, I was pushed to a different operation theater, it was still the same freezing temperature, green walls but this time the room was filled with more male young staffs. Thank goodness for them, because I couldn't even carry myself from one bed to another at this point. They had to use a roller board (very slowly) to transfer me onto the operating bed. I remember it was a very tiny metal bed. Since I still have all the lines on me, the process was shorten and less painful for me and I was put to sleep right away just like the first time.After the op
I was waken up by either my dad or Ney's voice, I couldn't differentiate, it was just a male voice calling my name and 她醒了 (she's awake). My eyes were so heavy I couldn't even open it, and I fall back to sleep again. God knows (or my dad and Ney) how long I was asleep until I opened my eyes again. This time, I can see both of them standing by my bedside, not to lie, it looks very similar like the movies.
The first thought that I had was: I'm alive, not seeing Jesus just yet.
I have so many things to be grateful for, my family (future family), my friends, my colleagues, the nurses and the doctors. In the midst of the chaos, I see God's hands are everywhere, although I didn't see or hear Him like I wished. He appears in the people around me, He gave me a song that simply reminds me of Him is in control.
#Not everyone has a second chance, but I have and I want to live.#
Comments
Post a Comment